Makes about 36 candies
Behold my epic fail – homemade “Caramel Milk Candies.”
I planned to make these typical South American candies for Halloween. Little did I know, I was in for a real mystery even Sherlock Holmes couldn’t solve. You see, metal cans are not transparent. I was literally cooking blind. As I learned, this is a tragic prospect when it comes to candy making.
Despite my diligent efforts (nerdy, even) to make and remake these candies, I failed. I’d keep going, except I’m terrified of my next gas bill.
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1. Bring water to boil. Choose a pot an inch or two taller than the can of sweetened condensed milk.
Meanwhile, remove the label from the can. You’ll thank me later, when you don’t have to clean paper shreds out of your pan.
2. Make two holes in your can. This is a safety measure. Not everyone does this.
I do because I’m not that into exploding cans.
3. Place can in boiling water. Cover pot and reduce to a simmer. The water should be near the top, so that all the liquid in the can gets evenly cooked.
Add water occasionally if too much boils off.
After about six hours of constant simmering, I opened up the first can.
My heart fluttered. What candy goodness would I behold? Waiting all day gave me plenty of time to work up a sweet tooth.
My candy wasn’t candy at all. It was limp and smeared all over the place. It was like thick pudding. But not in a good way.
I took a deep breath and decided to try again in the morning.
Eight hours later, this was the result:
More promising. Darker color, drier texture – cracked, even. Less limp, that’s for sure.
But look how it smears! This is not candy!
I thought, perhaps refrigeration will set the candy up? so I put it on small squares of parchment paper.
And twisted the ends.
The next day, when I unrolled the “candy,” all I had was sweet mud.
Sweet mud. I suppose there’s worse things.
But now what? What can I make for Halloween?
I can’t feed people mud, no matter what it tastes like.
Help me, dear readers.
Surely someone knows how to make this recipe work … or has a good South American candy recipe?